RICHMOND, VA – Last week, DPVA Chairwoman Susan Swecker penned a letter to the Richmond Times-Dispatch, offering free relationship advice to any Republican who may be looking for a healthier relationship with their party’s presidential candidates.
Richmond Times-Dispatch: OPINION: Thinking of you, Grand Old Party
April 28, 2023 | Susan Swecker
Republicans, I get it. We’ve all stayed a little too long in relationships we knew weren’t right. Maybe they didn’t get along with our parents, or they didn’t want kids. Maybe they fomented a violent insurrection at the U.S. Capitol to overturn the results of a free and fair election.
The point is, here you are, seven years later. After years of gaslighting, emotional abuse and infidelity, I’ve gotta ask: Isn’t it time you broke up with Donald Trump?
It doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable conversation; you could always “fade out” and gradually support him less. Maybe you consider posting about him less online, taking his name out of your bio, or quietly removing the photos of him on your timeline.
It’s not classy, but you can always ghost him. You don’t need to tell him you don’t want to vote for him anymore. All things considered, he’ll probably just pretend you all are still together, or claim that Joe Biden stole your relationship.
No matter how you make the break, I do suggest that you don’t talk about your time with him. Unless subpoenaed. Although, if you’re really savvy, you might even be able to get a hush money payment.
But ultimately, you know deep down that Donald is not exactly a prize catch. He’s moody and temperamental. Given the recent news, you probably don’t want to be stuck in a long-distance relationship. After all, it can be tough when your significant other may be going away for 2 to 4 years with time off for good behavior (as if good behavior is ever going to happen).
If you finally show the strength to move on — and I suggest telling him “it’s me, not you” — how do you make sure you don’t end up spending the next few years sitting at home, praying that the QAnon shaman calls?
It might be natural to consider swiping right (or swiping far-right) with someone new. There’s Mike or Nikki or Glenn or Tim or Ron — so many eligible bachelors and bachelorettes. Although, with Ron, chances are that first magical night won’t be in the Magic Kingdom.
So here’s an idea: Why not try to patch things up with an old fling? Say, whatever happened to that nice Mormon boy you were flirting with back in 2012? He wasn’t perfect, but he seemed like a healthier fit for you. His binders full of women were different from Donald’s. And you seemed happier then.
After all, that’s what I want for you. Your party used to nominate war heroes, so I know you can do better. Politics means strange bedfellows, but trust me: you ended up with a really strange bedfellow the last seven years. I understand breakups are hard; who is going to keep the Netflix password, or the PAC money? But even though it may be painful at first, you know it’s the best thing for you — and for the country you love.
###